Food that isn’t food

I was really happy when M and D figured out that there were other foods besides formula. We’ve been having a grand time for several months with all kinds of foodstuffs. There’s peas, which are green and squishy; sweet potatoes, which are orange and squishy; bananas, which are tan and squishy, blueberries, which are purple and squishy, chicken, which is pink and squishy; pink guava, which is also pink and squishy… and so on.

However, a disturbing trend has begun recently. Somehow they have got it into their heads to start putting stuff in my mouth that is not squishy, and therefore is not food. They’ve tried various things. There’s cheese, which is like little pieces of string. There’s black olives, which are like little bugs without legs. Even more confusing, they give me these foods that they claim have the same name as real foods but which are totally different. Like they gave me “banana,” which tasted sort of like real banana but was much globbier than banana is supposed to be. Same with “chicken,” which was obviously not chicken but was more like little pieces of dirt.

Every time they put one of these things in my mouth, I make the most disgusted face I possibly can. Then I make a lot of hacky-gaggy sounds. If they give me some real food to swallow I can usually get the solid piece down, but I have made it clear that I don’t like it. So they have backed off. They sometimes now put some pieces on my tray, but they let me just play with them, which is much better than trying to eat them. Man, I have no idea how M and D have managed to live so long when they’re so confused about what is food and what isn’t.


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